Another
year is ending, seventeen is in the books,
Before
moving to the passing lane, let’s take some rearview looks.
Let’s
review who’s made the news, every hero and every chump,
And
take stock of where we are, a year into the reign of Trump.
We’ve
had some ups and downs, of some things we are not proud,
Like
the challenge some had measuring, the tiny inauguration crowd.
With
my rhymes now please bear with me, your patience I do beseech,
Sit
back now and relax, like Christie on a shut down beach.
The
eclipse was pretty awesome, moving from northwest down to southeast,
Love
or hate that guy Tom Brady, that Super Bowl comeback was pretty beast.
Sexual
misconduct allegations, men abusing positions of power,
Weinstein,
Franken, O’Reilly, Moore, Rose, Spacey, and Lauer.
Catalonia
voted for secession, alas the Spaniards took it back,
Too
bad Equifax can’t do that, with your personal info lost in the hack.
The
women marched on Washington, with quite a large turnout,
The
Astros won in seven, the Warriors won in a rout.
Bad
news we had aplenty, always on terror high alert,
Trucks
driving into people, bombs at a Manchester concert.
Migrants
fleeing into Europe, refugees pouring out of Burma,
Hurricanes
smashing the Carribean, Maria, Harvey, Nate and Irma.
Maduro
in Venezuela, Kim Jong-Un and other kooks,
Destroying
their own countries, or hell bent on having nukes.
Destruction
in Aleppo, a double California fire outbreak,
Mass
shootings in Vegas and Texas, a Mexican earthquake.
Goodbye
we said to many, without them empty we may feel,
Chuck
Berry rolled over Beethoven, Monte Hall taught us how to make a deal.
David
Cassidy and Jerry Lewis, of you we were quite fond,
Hugh
Hefner was our playboy, Roger Moore was our James Bond.
Sam
Shephard and Tom Petty, Lil Peep and Fats Domino.
The
psychopath Charles Manson, no one’s sad to see him go.
The
diplomat Zbigniew Brzezinski, we never could pronounce your name,
The
chancellor Helmut Kohl, reuniting Germany brought you fame.
The
first year of the administration, an interesting one it’s been,
Few
legislative victories, but a guilty plea from Flynn.
The
Russia thing’s a mess, always another strange plot twist,
Manafort,
Gates, and Papadopolous, on Mueller’s naughty list.
Price,
Preibus and Steve Bannon, not one a year did survive,
Scaramucci
had his day, well to be accurate he lasted five.
Comey
from his post ejected, for excessive investigatory intervening,
Before
resigning I wish that Spicer, had explained covfefe’s meaning.
Our
country is divided, the left against the right,
Every
issue that’s debated, ends up a bitter fight.
All
you nutty fringe extremists, on both sides of the aisle,
Put
your country before your party, and stop being so hostile.
Enough
with the shouting and the violence, don’t get all up in my grill,
Please
stop all of this chaos, we don’t want another Charlottesville.
Our
country isn’t perfect, we have many problems that do displease,
But
to the NFL you’ve made your point, it’s time to get up off your knees.
The
markets have been bullish, with synchronized global growth,
To
short every little vol spike, we all have now taken an oath.
Credit
spreads have tightened, the momentum trade has been astounding,
US
short rates have moved higher, dollar weakness has been confounding.
The
yield curve it has flattened, emerging markets all have rallied,
Large
cap growth stocks are on top, a winning year they’ve tallied.
But
the winner of them all, has been the bitcoin and the crypto,
They’ve
sprinted ever higher, this is no walk, or jog, or tiptoe.
So
the New Year is upon us, it’s getting really close,
Please
put down all those opioids, you don’t need another dose.
In
eighteen please stay alert, I don’t think it will be boring,
Vol
may just make a comeback, you don’t want to be caught snoring.
A
new Fed chair’s taking charge, as the balance sheet is shrinking,
Of
buying every dip, you may want to do some fast rethinking.
With
your gains this holiday season, be generous and don’t be chintzy,
Be
charitable with your winnings, and don’t spend $450 million on a da Vinci.
