Another year now ending, goodbye to twenty twelve,
Into events that have unfolded, let us briefly delve.
Some things didn't change, the status quo remaining,
Middle Eastern fighting, and tireless campaigning.
More borrowing and spending, debt burdens they did widen,
Thanks to our spendthrift leaders, Barack Obama and Joe Biden.
Not to be outdone, in the massive spending spree,
Was the Federal Reserve, launching unlimited QE.
What failed in the past year, amidst all the to and fro?
Exhibit A in that sad bucket, must be the Facebook IPO.
What else was a loser, on a transatlantic scale?
JP Morgan's prop trading, felled by a London whale.
Another bust of large proportions, leaving half the country cryin',
Was the GOP fall ticket, of Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan.
The biggest setback of the year, was not at all man made,
A hurricane named Sandy, that did our coast invade.
To some we bid farewell, they left us all too soon,
Goodbye to Andy Griffith, goodbye Vidal Sassoon.
So long to Whitney Houston, she too has left the scene,
So long to Donna Summer, of disco she was queen.
Our ambassador to Libya, for him the nation grieves,
Dick Clark we’ll miss your countdown, on future New Year’s Eves.
Farewell to Neil Armstrong, to the moon you travelled far,
Farewell to Maurice Sendak, I hope you’re where the wild things are.
The state of our nation, is challenged at this time,
Pax Americana, may be beyond its prime.
Division reigns supreme, in our corridors of power,
Listen to our politicians, and you’ll want to take a shower.
Where can we find redemption, it lies somewhere within,
The better angels of our nature, not in some partisan spin.
Though challenges we face, resolution is within our reach,
It’s not like we must storm, some barricaded Normandy beach.
How to position your portfolio, into the year beyond?
Go short the equity market, stay long the 30 year bond?
The vol has been so low, across all the asset classes,
While the recovery we’re in, has been slow as molasses.
To offer some advice, if I may be so bold,
Don’t lend Uncle Sam your money, with his spending uncontrolled.
On one thing you can count, with regard to money making,
A bigger share in taxes, the government will be taking.
So let me wrap this up, with something more upbeat,
That you can share with friends, via text, email, or tweet.
There are better days ahead, that is my calm projection,
When will they come you ask, not till the next election.
Though winter has arrived, and outside it may be storming,
If you’re feeling wet and cold, relax the globe is warming.
At all your year end parties, make your cocktails strong and stiff,
And get ready for a tumble, off of the fiscal cliff.
Monday, December 31, 2012
Saturday, October 1, 2011
October 2011
It’s October twenty eleven, in this year it’s getting late,
Your year-to-date performance, really hasn’t been that great.
The economy has softened, the stocks have been a mess,
Job growth has been anemic, banks again are under stress.
Let’s review what all has happened, the events that have transpired,
And perhaps we’ll understand, why this market’s uninspired.
The year started off all right, the stocks they climbed on higher,
On LinkedIn and Pandora, investors took a flyer.
Social media was all the rage, that quickly grew into a bubble,
Facebook, Groupon, Twitter, saw valuations quickly double.
In other asset classes, higher prices too were quoted,
Top ticking it in commodities, Glencore’s stock was gently floated.
As spring turned into summer, to higher highs we almost vaulted,
Until our slippery politicians, on our debt almost defaulted.
On both side of the aisle, they all found many they could blame,
What they found in less abundance, was a sense of any shame.
So in the early days of August, the risk rallies all were faded,
And our pristine credit rating, was deservedly downgraded.
And all the while in crusty Europe, across the wide and deep blue ocean,
A train wreck was developing, albeit in slow, slow motion.
Debt levels and GDP, had long ago inflected,
Sovereigns and banks alike, insolvency had infected.
The market had grown weary, of dear old Merkel and Sarkozy,
And of their silly euro games, of bailout ring around the rosy.
The exercises of policy makers, have been ones largely of futility,
Bringing back higher measures, of correlation and volatility.
Money managers to their benchmarks, have not come even close,
The biggest losers out among them, are Johnny Paulson and Bill Gross.
Big winners have been rare, good news scarce in performance reports,
Unless you bet it big on treasuries, or had those Chinese shorts.
Big worries they abound, the list just keeps expanding,
Deficits and unemployment, or an economic cold hard landing.
The masses they grow restless, they write about it as they tweet,
To organize their protest, and occupy Wall Street.
Obama’s a disappointment, you can see it in his approval rating,
For a decent GOP alternative, we’re still patiently awaiting.
So is there hope for our future, can we somehow persevere?
Will we get back our mojo, will our prosperity disappear?
Let’s take stock in our republic, in our continuous long term renovation,
And in our entrepreneurial spirit, best shown in Steve Jobs’ innovation.
And in the short term if you’re nervous, that the markets keep on wheezing,
Then doctor Ben Bernanke, will provide more quantitative easing.
Your year-to-date performance, really hasn’t been that great.
The economy has softened, the stocks have been a mess,
Job growth has been anemic, banks again are under stress.
Let’s review what all has happened, the events that have transpired,
And perhaps we’ll understand, why this market’s uninspired.
The year started off all right, the stocks they climbed on higher,
On LinkedIn and Pandora, investors took a flyer.
Social media was all the rage, that quickly grew into a bubble,
Facebook, Groupon, Twitter, saw valuations quickly double.
In other asset classes, higher prices too were quoted,
Top ticking it in commodities, Glencore’s stock was gently floated.
As spring turned into summer, to higher highs we almost vaulted,
Until our slippery politicians, on our debt almost defaulted.
On both side of the aisle, they all found many they could blame,
What they found in less abundance, was a sense of any shame.
So in the early days of August, the risk rallies all were faded,
And our pristine credit rating, was deservedly downgraded.
And all the while in crusty Europe, across the wide and deep blue ocean,
A train wreck was developing, albeit in slow, slow motion.
Debt levels and GDP, had long ago inflected,
Sovereigns and banks alike, insolvency had infected.
The market had grown weary, of dear old Merkel and Sarkozy,
And of their silly euro games, of bailout ring around the rosy.
The exercises of policy makers, have been ones largely of futility,
Bringing back higher measures, of correlation and volatility.
Money managers to their benchmarks, have not come even close,
The biggest losers out among them, are Johnny Paulson and Bill Gross.
Big winners have been rare, good news scarce in performance reports,
Unless you bet it big on treasuries, or had those Chinese shorts.
Big worries they abound, the list just keeps expanding,
Deficits and unemployment, or an economic cold hard landing.
The masses they grow restless, they write about it as they tweet,
To organize their protest, and occupy Wall Street.
Obama’s a disappointment, you can see it in his approval rating,
For a decent GOP alternative, we’re still patiently awaiting.
So is there hope for our future, can we somehow persevere?
Will we get back our mojo, will our prosperity disappear?
Let’s take stock in our republic, in our continuous long term renovation,
And in our entrepreneurial spirit, best shown in Steve Jobs’ innovation.
And in the short term if you’re nervous, that the markets keep on wheezing,
Then doctor Ben Bernanke, will provide more quantitative easing.
Friday, January 1, 2010
January 2010 - A Decade In Review
And so we find ourselves at the start, of a decade that is new,
The one just ended wasn’t pretty, if you look in the rear view.
When it started in 2000, Nasdaq was climbing to new heights,
On its way beyond five thousand, where it was read its final rites.
The harsh road back to reality, crushed many a banker and VC,
With business plans and sock puppets, filling Sand Hill Road’s debris.
The tragedy of nine eleven, changed the mindset of a generation,
That we never forget that fateful day, is our eternal obligation.
Shortly after that disaster, we were greeted with many a business sham,
Kozlowski, Ebbers, Skilling, Rigas, up the river they all swam.
All the while Mr. Greenspan, kept on chopping at the rate,
Convinced was he that the risk, was that prices would deflate.
Recovery was soon at hand, as the markets all shot higher,
For any asset or derivative, there was many an eager buyer.
The silliness soon began, in the market for the housing,
Bidding wars were all too common, animal spirits were arousing.
A virtuous cycle was upon us, with many players in the game,
Home buyers, brokers, and appraisers, all proceeded without shame.
An Option ARM and a HELOC, will you please get down with the lingo,
If you want that beach house in Miami, with the cheesy pink flamingo.
Investment bankers always clever, sliced and diced the toxic paper,
The regulators and rating agencies, they blessed the shady caper.
And over in corporate America, things were heating up as well,
The buyout kings they were ascending, as their funds began to swell.
The nonsense soon was spewing, just as it was in the late eighties,
Lighten my covenants and toggle my PIK, as I drive off in my Mercedes.
Activists ruled the day, demanding buybacks and dividend recaps,
Any CEO who resisted, was shown the door or busted kneecaps.
And our governmental finances, how did they fare amidst this boom?
Deficits every year, it happens when you take in less than you consume.
The carry trade was running rampant, fueled by Japanese free money,
That some bought it for two and twenty, is somewhat sad and slightly funny.
The BRICs were off and running, and took on a life all of their own,
Impacting the status quo global order, the G7 they did dethrone.
And in so doing caused commodities, to go on an unrelenting climb,
The peak oilers said we would run out, in a short amount of time.
Correlations all were rising, as the world was busy flattening,
Ags became all the rage, as its citizens were busy fattening.
What marked the top of all the frenzy, what took us into the red zone?
Was it Cerberus buying Chrysler, or the public offering of Blackstone?
While Chuck Prince was still out dancing, and Jimmy Cayne was out back toking,
Liquidity was draining from the system, leaving many addicts choking.
Subprime mortgages were just the first, of many things that did implode,
The collapse of other asset classes, their meltdown did forebode.
The quants blew up rather early, despite their fancy qualifications,
Up in their ivory towers, they misjudged their peer group’s concentrations.
With the world around it melting, Wall Street still carried on denying,
Bogus concepts like decoupling, it persisted on supplying.
And then the old houses started falling, like a line of children’s dominoes,
Bear, Lehman, AIG, and Merrill, they all did decompose.
Even Morgan and mighty Goldman, were saved by the bank charter,
For the warmth of the TARP blanket, they were forced to go and barter.
With no more fear of moral hazard, the bailouts came quite quickly,
All you had to do was ask politely, and demonstrate that you were sickly.
To cap a heinous 2008, we learned of the Ponzi scheme of Madoff,
While millions of Americans, were being furloughed and laid off.
But to finish out the decade, it was time for a party in ’09,
Hosted by Ben Bernanke, serving potent monetary moonshine.
For appetizer zero interest rates, for dessert quantitative easing,
Speculators found his menu, extremely succulent and pleasing.
While the rally that we’ve seen, is salve for our financial cuts and gashes,
It’s just postponed our day of reckoning, and ensured further market crashes.
Unemployment, deficits, foreclosures, and your very large unfunded pension,
Are just a few of our collective problems, which I feel that I must mention.
So what comes next in this new decade, what’s in the cards and what’s in store?
At best some serious belt tightening, at worst a collapsing dollar and holy war.
How to prepare for these calamities, how to shield oneself from all this pain?
Learn to live with less, from gratuitous consumption please abstain.
Have faith in our America, this is the land of hope and dreams,
Built not by economic foolery, or no money down financial schemes.
Dig deep within your being, against our challenges now stand fast,
Let’s bid farewell to the decade of naught, and leave it resolutely in the past.
Friday, May 1, 2009
May 2009
As winter turned to spring and quick as a lightning flash,
We recovered from the losses and made back the ‘09 crash.
The sentiment and trend have both made sharp and sudden turns,
Giving the bears and shorts alike, horrific third degree burns.
Just a few short months ago, it all seemed so very dire,
The consumer had collapsed, the banks were all on fire.
Their wallets all were empty, their book values all had vanished,
Saving was in vogue, all consumption had been banished.
I remember it quite well, every night there on the tube,
They said the Fed’s work was in vain, and that Geithner was a boob.
As Citi’s stock broke through a buck, we looked on with much disgust,
Thinking TARP, TALF and P-PIP had all been such a bust.
The depression was upon us, it was getting very bad,
Except for Taleb and Roubini, we all were feeling very sad.
And then the thing it softly hit bottom, without making any sound,
At the moment that it happened, there were no bulls here to be found.
The rally it was false, a head fake we all said,
After all we knew full well, capitalism was now dead.
But it kept on going higher, day after day, week after week,
Although the macro stats and news flow were still looking very bleak.
Things were all still getting worse, just not quite as quickly as before,
A second derivative change helped the market set a floor.
The talk now everywhere is of sprouting new green shoots,
Only time it will reveal, the depth of their underlying roots.
The way the bulls tell us the story, things will end up being fine,
Nothing now can stop us, not even flu or plague from swine.
Ignore the prices of the houses, though they continue to be sagging,
Don’t sweat surging unemployment, an indicator that is lagging.
Obama and Bernanke will fix any problems that we have,
If your mutual fund is impaired, they’ll pass a bailout of your NAV.
If it’s Chrysler that’s gone bust, give it to the unions and Italians,
If it’s your strategy for Afghanistan, send in some more battalions.
Stimulus, healthcare and green energy, it all can be afforded,
Don’t worry if you haven’t saved a penny, you’ll be kindly well rewarded.
If the Chinese don’t buy more Treasuries and start puking all our dollars,
The Fed will print more just to buy them, those depressionary scholars.
And the bears think they know better, that they are wiser than an owl,
On this rally and economy, their advice would be ‘throw in the towel’.
They know this turn is just for suckers, for the money that is dumb,
The S&P’s going back to a six handle, that awful place we just came from.
Our households and our businesses still have much delevering to go,
Though our assets are declining, big debts we all still owe.
All the governmental actions just delay our day of reckoning,
Out on the near horizon, financial ruin it is beckoning.
Take no comfort from green shoots, which all will soon be withering,
Buy gold in heaps and bury it, this is no time to be caught dithering.
And as for me as an observer, what is my present opinion,
On this bull and bear debate, raging across this wide dominion?
As with many things in life, the answer’s somewhere in the middle,
There is no easy answer to our tangled financial riddle.
Did we overdo the leverage and create much false prosperity?
Did we put off many problems and leave them to posterity?
It’s clear the answer to these questions is a high conviction yes.
What’s more, we haven’t fixed the banks with recent tests of stress.
Yet there still are many things that give me hope for times ahead,
I do not sit around in fear of a future that I dread.
So bears stop hoping for no end, to our economic pickle,
And bulls take time to reassess, these rallies can be fickle.
Good luck to both sides of the coin, may you find alpha by year end,
We recovered from the losses and made back the ‘09 crash.
The sentiment and trend have both made sharp and sudden turns,
Giving the bears and shorts alike, horrific third degree burns.
Just a few short months ago, it all seemed so very dire,
The consumer had collapsed, the banks were all on fire.
Their wallets all were empty, their book values all had vanished,
Saving was in vogue, all consumption had been banished.
I remember it quite well, every night there on the tube,
They said the Fed’s work was in vain, and that Geithner was a boob.
As Citi’s stock broke through a buck, we looked on with much disgust,
Thinking TARP, TALF and P-PIP had all been such a bust.
The depression was upon us, it was getting very bad,
Except for Taleb and Roubini, we all were feeling very sad.
And then the thing it softly hit bottom, without making any sound,
At the moment that it happened, there were no bulls here to be found.
The rally it was false, a head fake we all said,
After all we knew full well, capitalism was now dead.
But it kept on going higher, day after day, week after week,
Although the macro stats and news flow were still looking very bleak.
Things were all still getting worse, just not quite as quickly as before,
A second derivative change helped the market set a floor.
The talk now everywhere is of sprouting new green shoots,
Only time it will reveal, the depth of their underlying roots.
The way the bulls tell us the story, things will end up being fine,
Nothing now can stop us, not even flu or plague from swine.
Ignore the prices of the houses, though they continue to be sagging,
Don’t sweat surging unemployment, an indicator that is lagging.
Obama and Bernanke will fix any problems that we have,
If your mutual fund is impaired, they’ll pass a bailout of your NAV.
If it’s Chrysler that’s gone bust, give it to the unions and Italians,
If it’s your strategy for Afghanistan, send in some more battalions.
Stimulus, healthcare and green energy, it all can be afforded,
Don’t worry if you haven’t saved a penny, you’ll be kindly well rewarded.
If the Chinese don’t buy more Treasuries and start puking all our dollars,
The Fed will print more just to buy them, those depressionary scholars.
And the bears think they know better, that they are wiser than an owl,
On this rally and economy, their advice would be ‘throw in the towel’.
They know this turn is just for suckers, for the money that is dumb,
The S&P’s going back to a six handle, that awful place we just came from.
Our households and our businesses still have much delevering to go,
Though our assets are declining, big debts we all still owe.
All the governmental actions just delay our day of reckoning,
Out on the near horizon, financial ruin it is beckoning.
Take no comfort from green shoots, which all will soon be withering,
Buy gold in heaps and bury it, this is no time to be caught dithering.
And as for me as an observer, what is my present opinion,
On this bull and bear debate, raging across this wide dominion?
As with many things in life, the answer’s somewhere in the middle,
There is no easy answer to our tangled financial riddle.
Did we overdo the leverage and create much false prosperity?
Did we put off many problems and leave them to posterity?
It’s clear the answer to these questions is a high conviction yes.
What’s more, we haven’t fixed the banks with recent tests of stress.
Yet there still are many things that give me hope for times ahead,
I do not sit around in fear of a future that I dread.
So bears stop hoping for no end, to our economic pickle,
And bulls take time to reassess, these rallies can be fickle.
Good luck to both sides of the coin, may you find alpha by year end,
Here’s to hoping we soon return, to days when beta is your friend.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Year End 2008
2008 can you please hurry up and end,
Perhaps skip right past Christmas, as we’ve no money left to spend.
We started out the year expecting just some regional recessions,
We’re finishing it out with bankers seizing our possessions.
Our assets and liquidity have all gone up in smoke,
Our equity has vanished, we’re simply just flat broke.
Jobless, homeless, hopeless are now words in our vernacular,
The failure of the system has been sadly quite spectacular.
So let us now review events, of this year that’s passed us by,
Disasters there were many, an unlimited supply.
Peloton crushed it in ‘07 and was everybody’s hero,
By February end their NAV had dwindled down to zero.
The Ides of March spelled doom, for the folks over at Bear Stearns,
For the investment banking model, we began having real concerns.
All year banks were going belly up, and July felled Indy Mac,
Though that was just a prelude, to September’s heart attack.
The first week of that grim month, brought Fan and Fred’s demise,
Trillions is how they measure, their impaired asset size.
Mother Merrill then decided, it must hook up with a mate,
BofA came courting, proposing marriage on the first date.
That was quickly followed by the fall of dear old Lehman,
Letting that one go, may prove to be Paulson’s demon.
Too big to fail returned, the following day with AIG,
Whose balance sheet was filled, with heaps of foul debris.
Wamu was close behind, with the biggest bust in banking history,
Where exactly TPG saw value, remains a shrouded mystery.
Wachovia was next, which Citi quickly lost to Wells,
Buying Golden West right at the peak, is one that really smells.
The hedge funds, how’d they navigate these failures I recite?
Poorly, in a word, since I’m keeping this polite.
Through June they rode real assets up a steep and soaring climb,
They shorted the financials, the dollar and subprime.
And then it all went sour, the bottom it fell out,
Commodities went down the toilet, and then turned into a rout.
The trades were all quite crowded, the unwind it was vicious,
The shorts were squeezed and banned, the margin calls malicious.
Leverage crushed the wise guys and so did net exposures,
Who knew the hedge fund beta was tied to home foreclosures?
The VIX broke right through eighty, as vols spiked through the roof,
Currencies fell to pieces, as the carry trade went poof.
Counterparties failed, the TED spread grew and grew,
Some lost big in the convertibles, some on Porsche/VW.
Money funds soon hit the skids, and some then broke the buck,
If you let Lehman rehypothecate, you sure feel like a schmuck.
It mattered very little, if you chose value, growth or GARP,
Nothing sustained a rally, not even Kashkari’s TARP.
As credit markets froze, for redemptions all were braced,
Side pockets became the home, for assorted toxic waste.
Drawdowns grew severe, at Glenview, Tosca and Spinnaker,
The victims of the carnage include Gendell, Dubin and Dinakar.
And the regulators, how’d they handle this mess that we’re now in?
Randomly, it seems, much to Dick Fuld’s chagrin.
Over weekends they did work, the dynamic duo Ben and Hank,
And pleaded on bended knee, to Pelosi, Schumer and Frank.
Through facility upon facility, they grew Fed’s balance sheet,
They accepted all collateral, from desperate firms across Wall Street.
“We’re all banks now” became the mantra if you wanted to be saved,
If you asked for their assistance, you found yourself enslaved.
Forget the leverage and the bonus, those days are now long past,
The last shall now be first, and the first shall now be last.
And the legacy of Greenspan, how will we remember him?
I’m sad to tell you Alan, it’s looking pretty grim.
Maestro we’ve now decided, was a terrible misnomer,
A Simpson seems more fitting, not Bart or Marge, but Homer.
Ah, it’s easy to point fingers, when we all share in the blame.
We all helped inflate the bubble, and did so without shame.
The leverage proved intoxicating, it felt just like a drug,
Any problems that developed, we swept under the rug.
Our nation became infected with the borrowing disease,
We shipped out all our dollars, to the Saudis and Chinese.
We all built the fancy houses, we each drove in a Hummer,
Not just Kravis and Schwarzman, but even Joe the Plumber.
And now we pay the piper, the repo man is at the door,
He’s asking for his money, we can’t defer him anymore.
And Bush up in the White House, asleep on the job in a pajama,
So disgusted all his countrymen, they picked some new guy named Obama.
Mr. President Elect, good luck to you with all these troubles,
Iraq, LIBOR, Depression, and the bursting of these bubbles.
So I’m sorry I’ve depressed you, but these straits are very dire,
I wish I had some words, with which I could inspire.
I suppose it could be worse, despite the big destruction of your wealth,
In this land hope still springs eternal, and you still have got your health.
Happy Holidays to you, I hope you spend it in good cheer,
Let’s raise the glasses up in unison, and hope for better come next year.
Perhaps skip right past Christmas, as we’ve no money left to spend.
We started out the year expecting just some regional recessions,
We’re finishing it out with bankers seizing our possessions.
Our assets and liquidity have all gone up in smoke,
Our equity has vanished, we’re simply just flat broke.
Jobless, homeless, hopeless are now words in our vernacular,
The failure of the system has been sadly quite spectacular.
So let us now review events, of this year that’s passed us by,
Disasters there were many, an unlimited supply.
Peloton crushed it in ‘07 and was everybody’s hero,
By February end their NAV had dwindled down to zero.
The Ides of March spelled doom, for the folks over at Bear Stearns,
For the investment banking model, we began having real concerns.
All year banks were going belly up, and July felled Indy Mac,
Though that was just a prelude, to September’s heart attack.
The first week of that grim month, brought Fan and Fred’s demise,
Trillions is how they measure, their impaired asset size.
Mother Merrill then decided, it must hook up with a mate,
BofA came courting, proposing marriage on the first date.
That was quickly followed by the fall of dear old Lehman,
Letting that one go, may prove to be Paulson’s demon.
Too big to fail returned, the following day with AIG,
Whose balance sheet was filled, with heaps of foul debris.
Wamu was close behind, with the biggest bust in banking history,
Where exactly TPG saw value, remains a shrouded mystery.
Wachovia was next, which Citi quickly lost to Wells,
Buying Golden West right at the peak, is one that really smells.
The hedge funds, how’d they navigate these failures I recite?
Poorly, in a word, since I’m keeping this polite.
Through June they rode real assets up a steep and soaring climb,
They shorted the financials, the dollar and subprime.
And then it all went sour, the bottom it fell out,
Commodities went down the toilet, and then turned into a rout.
The trades were all quite crowded, the unwind it was vicious,
The shorts were squeezed and banned, the margin calls malicious.
Leverage crushed the wise guys and so did net exposures,
Who knew the hedge fund beta was tied to home foreclosures?
The VIX broke right through eighty, as vols spiked through the roof,
Currencies fell to pieces, as the carry trade went poof.
Counterparties failed, the TED spread grew and grew,
Some lost big in the convertibles, some on Porsche/VW.
Money funds soon hit the skids, and some then broke the buck,
If you let Lehman rehypothecate, you sure feel like a schmuck.
It mattered very little, if you chose value, growth or GARP,
Nothing sustained a rally, not even Kashkari’s TARP.
As credit markets froze, for redemptions all were braced,
Side pockets became the home, for assorted toxic waste.
Drawdowns grew severe, at Glenview, Tosca and Spinnaker,
The victims of the carnage include Gendell, Dubin and Dinakar.
And the regulators, how’d they handle this mess that we’re now in?
Randomly, it seems, much to Dick Fuld’s chagrin.
Over weekends they did work, the dynamic duo Ben and Hank,
And pleaded on bended knee, to Pelosi, Schumer and Frank.
Through facility upon facility, they grew Fed’s balance sheet,
They accepted all collateral, from desperate firms across Wall Street.
“We’re all banks now” became the mantra if you wanted to be saved,
If you asked for their assistance, you found yourself enslaved.
Forget the leverage and the bonus, those days are now long past,
The last shall now be first, and the first shall now be last.
And the legacy of Greenspan, how will we remember him?
I’m sad to tell you Alan, it’s looking pretty grim.
Maestro we’ve now decided, was a terrible misnomer,
A Simpson seems more fitting, not Bart or Marge, but Homer.
Ah, it’s easy to point fingers, when we all share in the blame.
We all helped inflate the bubble, and did so without shame.
The leverage proved intoxicating, it felt just like a drug,
Any problems that developed, we swept under the rug.
Our nation became infected with the borrowing disease,
We shipped out all our dollars, to the Saudis and Chinese.
We all built the fancy houses, we each drove in a Hummer,
Not just Kravis and Schwarzman, but even Joe the Plumber.
And now we pay the piper, the repo man is at the door,
He’s asking for his money, we can’t defer him anymore.
And Bush up in the White House, asleep on the job in a pajama,
So disgusted all his countrymen, they picked some new guy named Obama.
Mr. President Elect, good luck to you with all these troubles,
Iraq, LIBOR, Depression, and the bursting of these bubbles.
So I’m sorry I’ve depressed you, but these straits are very dire,
I wish I had some words, with which I could inspire.
I suppose it could be worse, despite the big destruction of your wealth,
In this land hope still springs eternal, and you still have got your health.
Happy Holidays to you, I hope you spend it in good cheer,
Let’s raise the glasses up in unison, and hope for better come next year.
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
July 2008
Midway through the year of 2008,
Performance is grim through June year to date.
Of industry sectors, banks have fallen the most,
As they’ve watched their loan books turn quickly to toast.
The brokers of course, they too have had issues,
For the memory of Bear, we can but cry in our tissues.
Mortgage insurers as well, are now in a mess,
Happy are those who’ve owned a dose of their CDS.
Regional banks have succumbed and are now in a jam,
IndyMac is the newest possession of dear Uncle Sam.
Of Fannie and Freddie, what will they write of their tale?
That when they came close to the edge, they were too big to fail.
Who or what is to blame for our terrible plight?
For these problems that keep us awake in the night?
The home builders, for one, who just built way too many,
Why build one or two, when there’s financing for twenty?
Mortgage bankers and brokers, who provided the grease,
In this religion of lending, they were the priests.
Wall Street played its part, with the securitization,
Those bonuses you know, can be quite a temptation.
The rating agencies, they too, were all part of this trade,
Triple A they all called it, no matter the grade.
And the borrowers of course, we must not forget,
Liar loans they filled out, without any regret.
Who can now save us, who will come to our aid?
We all bought these big houses, and now feel so betrayed.
Mister Bernanke, can you please lower that rate?
What do you mean, you worry that prices will start to inflate?
Mister Paulson, please continue the bailouts without quarrel.
What’s this that you say, you’ll create hazard moral?
Mister Bush, your people in need you will surely remember?
Oh, how could I forget, you’ll be gone come November.
Mister Buffet, buy these homes before they’re all repossessed,
You say there’s no value so you won’t come invest?
So we’re all by ourselves, to fend on our own,
To make do with our problems, to pay off that loan.
Stay calm and don’t panic, let’s think this one through.
After all we’re Americans, we’ll know what to do.
Don’t cool down your house and please skip that vacation,
Don’t buy food or energy, that’s not part of core inflation.
That tax rebate check, don’t you spend it on shopping,
Didn’t you hear, the housing bubble is popping?
Sell the jewels, sell the gold, sell the family possessions,
It’ll help ease the pain of this beast of recessions.
And when you’re feeling depressed, by our debt in the trillions,
Have a beer, try a Bud, it’s now owned by Brazilians.
Performance is grim through June year to date.
Of industry sectors, banks have fallen the most,
As they’ve watched their loan books turn quickly to toast.
The brokers of course, they too have had issues,
For the memory of Bear, we can but cry in our tissues.
Mortgage insurers as well, are now in a mess,
Happy are those who’ve owned a dose of their CDS.
Regional banks have succumbed and are now in a jam,
IndyMac is the newest possession of dear Uncle Sam.
Of Fannie and Freddie, what will they write of their tale?
That when they came close to the edge, they were too big to fail.
Who or what is to blame for our terrible plight?
For these problems that keep us awake in the night?
The home builders, for one, who just built way too many,
Why build one or two, when there’s financing for twenty?
Mortgage bankers and brokers, who provided the grease,
In this religion of lending, they were the priests.
Wall Street played its part, with the securitization,
Those bonuses you know, can be quite a temptation.
The rating agencies, they too, were all part of this trade,
Triple A they all called it, no matter the grade.
And the borrowers of course, we must not forget,
Liar loans they filled out, without any regret.
Who can now save us, who will come to our aid?
We all bought these big houses, and now feel so betrayed.
Mister Bernanke, can you please lower that rate?
What do you mean, you worry that prices will start to inflate?
Mister Paulson, please continue the bailouts without quarrel.
What’s this that you say, you’ll create hazard moral?
Mister Bush, your people in need you will surely remember?
Oh, how could I forget, you’ll be gone come November.
Mister Buffet, buy these homes before they’re all repossessed,
You say there’s no value so you won’t come invest?
So we’re all by ourselves, to fend on our own,
To make do with our problems, to pay off that loan.
Stay calm and don’t panic, let’s think this one through.
After all we’re Americans, we’ll know what to do.
Don’t cool down your house and please skip that vacation,
Don’t buy food or energy, that’s not part of core inflation.
That tax rebate check, don’t you spend it on shopping,
Didn’t you hear, the housing bubble is popping?
Sell the jewels, sell the gold, sell the family possessions,
It’ll help ease the pain of this beast of recessions.
And when you’re feeling depressed, by our debt in the trillions,
Have a beer, try a Bud, it’s now owned by Brazilians.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)