Another year is ending, seventeen is in the books,
Before moving to the passing lane, let’s take some rearview looks.
Let’s review who’s made the news, every hero and every chump,
And take stock of where we are, a year into the reign of Trump.
We’ve had some ups and downs, of some things we are not proud,
Like the challenge some had measuring, the tiny inauguration crowd.
With my rhymes now please bear with me, your patience I do beseech,
Sit back now and relax, like Christie on a shut down beach.
The eclipse was pretty awesome, moving from northwest down to southeast,
Love or hate that guy Tom Brady, that Super Bowl comeback was pretty beast.
Sexual misconduct allegations, men abusing positions of power,
Weinstein, Franken, O’Reilly, Moore, Rose, Spacey, and Lauer.
Catalonia voted for secession, alas the Spaniards took it back,
Too bad Equifax can’t do that, with your personal info lost in the hack.
The women marched on Washington, with quite a large turnout,
The Astros won in seven, the Warriors won in a rout.
Bad news we had aplenty, always on terror high alert,
Trucks driving into people, bombs at a Manchester concert.
Migrants fleeing into Europe, refugees pouring out of Burma,
Hurricanes smashing the Carribean, Maria, Harvey, Nate and Irma.
Maduro in Venezuela, Kim Jong-Un and other kooks,
Destroying their own countries, or hell bent on having nukes.
Destruction in Aleppo, a double California fire outbreak,
Mass shootings in Vegas and Texas, a Mexican earthquake.
Goodbye we said to many, without them empty we may feel,
Chuck Berry rolled over Beethoven, Monte Hall taught us how to make a deal.
David Cassidy and Jerry Lewis, of you we were quite fond,
Hugh Hefner was our playboy, Roger Moore was our James Bond.
Sam Shephard and Tom Petty, Lil Peep and Fats Domino.
The psychopath Charles Manson, no one’s sad to see him go.
The diplomat Zbigniew Brzezinski, we never could pronounce your name,
The chancellor Helmut Kohl, reuniting Germany brought you fame.
The first year of the administration, an interesting one it’s been,
Few legislative victories, but a guilty plea from Flynn.
The Russia thing’s a mess, always another strange plot twist,
Manafort, Gates, and Papadopolous, on Mueller’s naughty list.
Price, Preibus and Steve Bannon, not one a year did survive,
Scaramucci had his day, well to be accurate he lasted five.
Comey from his post ejected, for excessive investigatory intervening,
Before resigning I wish that Spicer, had explained covfefe’s meaning.
Our country is divided, the left against the right,
Every issue that’s debated, ends up a bitter fight.
All you nutty fringe extremists, on both sides of the aisle,
Put your country before your party, and stop being so hostile.
Enough with the shouting and the violence, don’t get all up in my grill,
Please stop all of this chaos, we don’t want another Charlottesville.
Our country isn’t perfect, we have many problems that do displease,
But to the NFL you’ve made your point, it’s time to get up off your knees.
The markets have been bullish, with synchronized global growth,
To short every little vol spike, we all have now taken an oath.
Credit spreads have tightened, the momentum trade has been astounding,
US short rates have moved higher, dollar weakness has been confounding.
The yield curve it has flattened, emerging markets all have rallied,
Large cap growth stocks are on top, a winning year they’ve tallied.
But the winner of them all, has been the bitcoin and the crypto,
They’ve sprinted ever higher, this is no walk, or jog, or tiptoe.
So the New Year is upon us, it’s getting really close,
Please put down all those opioids, you don’t need another dose.
In eighteen please stay alert, I don’t think it will be boring,
Vol may just make a comeback, you don’t want to be caught snoring.
A new Fed chair’s taking charge, as the balance sheet is shrinking,
Of buying every dip, you may want to do some fast rethinking.
With your gains this holiday season, be generous and don’t be chintzy,
Be charitable with your winnings, and don’t spend $450 million on a da Vinci.